Ponderings on a Tuesday Night

When you live alone, you tend to spend time thinking...a lot of time thinking...

I know for myself I'm a chronic overthinker...yay being a Virgo lol.

But over the last couple weeks, my overthinking has gone into overload. 

I overthink when I'm trying to sleep, I overthink when I'm driving to work, I overthink when I'm at work... and the list goes on and on. 

Why do I do it?

I wish I knew.

Probably a good 80% of the things I overthink about aren't even real...

I know that it's frustrating. 

I know it's not good for me.

I know it strains my relationships with people.

I know I'm almost crying because of the reason above. 

I just can't stop. I can't stop wondering if someone is mad at me because they didn't smile at me. I can't stop wondering if my relationship is going to end like my last one. I can't stop wondering if I'm good enough.

I think that's the major source of this overthinking. 

This constant state of not being good enough even though everything around me is telling me that I am. 

I have to start believing that I'm good enough and that I deserve all the greatness that's in my life. 

I have to believe it for myself. I can't just believe it because my friends or family tell me it's true, but I have to start believe it for me. 

I just have to start...

-M.